Bełżec Kaddish

 Bełżec Kaddish

“In 1990, we decided to go to Bełżec” Harry told me. “When we arrived, it was an open field and on one side of the field were six urns. People used to come sometimes and light a candle there. At the other end of the field, were concrete bunkers. Dogs were running around and digging up the bones. It was absolutely horrendous. You can’t describe it. There was nothing there, absolutely nothing”. 

On Harry Olmer’s sixth visit to the final resting place of his parents and sisters, he is accompanied by over fifty individuals who have come to Poland to learn about the Holocaust. They will stand with him as he once again, recites the Mourner’s Kaddish. At the age of 95, he is acutely aware that this trip could be his last.

Bełżec Memorial, Yael Hayes, 26/04/2022

I walk slowly through The Interstice, as water fills the gaps between the cobblestones under my feet. This walkway represents the original path towards the gas chambers. I contemplate as I continue on. Either side, is a sea of burnt-looking, mossy black rocks. Around the edges, ribbed metal rods stick out of the stone wall, twisted and mangled into each other. The wall grows in height and my path narrows as I press on. The sky is an unkind sheet of grey today. Approaching the memorial wall, I see a man standing, staring. It is Harry. The group congregates under the overhang, gathered close together. He tells us that here, he always feels the same. It always takes his breath away. “Why was I spared?” A quiet sense of unease emanates, from hearing this man speak so candidly about his guilt. Then, the sombre sound of a Rabbi singing the Yizkor prayer forces its echoes around the thick stone walls of the memorial. While this ring, of intense suffering reverberates, a gentle rain announces itself. Nobody seems to mind. The invocation of prayer, in such a space, on such a day, produces much reflective thought. Emerging from the again restored silence comes Harry’s quivering voice. Melancholy personified. 

                        Yitkadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba *

My eyes close.

                        B’alma di v’ra chir’utei; v’yamlich malchutei b’hayeichon u-v’yomeichon, uv’hayei d’chol                         beit yisrael, ba-agala u-vi-z’man kariv, v’imru 

‘Amen.

Y’hei sh’mei raba m’varach l’alam u-l’almei almaya.’  – the collective utterance lifts from my trance.

                       Yitbarach v’yishtabah, v’yitpa’ar v’yitromam, v’yitnasei v’yit-hadar, v’yit’aleh v’yit’halal                           sh’mei d’kudsha

‘B’rich hu’ – a droplet finds its home on my left cheek.

                    ’Ela min kol birchata v’shirata, tushb’hata v’nehemata, da-amiran b’alma, v’imru 

‘Amen’ – affirmed by the group.

                    Y’hei sh’lama raba min sh’maya, v’hayim, aleinu v’al koi yisrael, v’imru 

‘Amen’ – once again.

                    Oseh shalom bi-m’romav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu v’al kol yisrael, v’imru 

A final ‘Amen’ marks the collaborative completion of the prayer.

Harry lights five memorial candles, which now sit in a row on the wall, burning brightly, immortalising. He turns to leave and the group follows. 

Two months later, sat in Harry’s living room, surrounded by pictures of his family past and present, he tells me; “people they go to their lost ones’ graves. It’s like a pilgrimage to go. It is my pilgrimage, there.”

Harry Olmer with the Yellow candles lit for his family, Yael Hayes, 26/04/2022

* The Mourner’s Kaddish prayer “significantly, saying nothing about death” (Myerhoff 1994:224) and is instead, a “vigorous declaration of faith” (Lamm 1969:144). 

English translation: 

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honoured, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.